Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)

Film: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians
Release: 1964, Theatrical
Starring: John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck
Directed by: Nicholas Webster
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Descriptions: The children of Mars have started to obsess over TV-shows from Earth, oddly fascinated with the concept of "fun" & joy". In order to make their children behave normally again, Kimar the emperor of Mars and his elite council goes to kidnap the source of joy on Earth: Santa Claus.

Hans' thoughts:

On the planet Mars, children are given learning helmets from birth turning them into adults in children's bodies. It's an effective way of creating a logical society for sure, but when the video screens of Mars become able to watch Earth programming, the children stops eating and functioning at all causing the emperor of Mars to decide that Mars must have a Santa of their own, so why not kidnap the one from Earth? It's a completely ridiculous concept but somehow the movie just kind of - works.

Part of that comes from the actors portraying the characters, aside from Bill McCutcheon that plays a dimwitted but kindhearted martian, all the actors play out this concept completely straight. They take it as seriously as a child feasibly would and that's why, despite the horrible effect and the absolutely stupid costume designs on the martians, I completely succumbed to the atmosphere of the film. I credit Leonard Hicks the most with this, while the other actors play it straight but with a hint of cheesiness between the lines, the sheer dignity and badassery of Kimar the Emperor just shines through in his way too serious performance. Maybe it's the addition of the cape, but Hicks looks like he's playing a character from a serious sci-fi or a crime drama. It also has, despite how stupid it is, some hints of cool concepts. Mars being a world of complete logic that has taken away the childhood of their people is a pretty interesting science-fiction concept and it sorta mirrors the dangers of the educational system. Younger children are expected to know more to fit into society these days and the danger of turning them into little adults are a bit of a dilemma.

Not to be forgotten is the awesome spectacle of Santa Claus facing off against an attacking robot or being kidnapped by martians. Like any kid, I've always loved the Santa Claus character but he's honestly never been the focus of all that many movies. Here in Denmark we have 24-episode daily television series each year leading up to Christmas eve where Santa Claus usually shows up in some form or another, but even in those he rarely makes a big appearance. Therefore, seeing Santa as the main focal point of a movie is a treat, and he's exactly what you'd expect Santa to be. Loving and kindhearted, laughing and hard at work at making sure Christmas will bring joy to children all over the world. John Call plays Santa in this film, and although Santa isn't one of those big complicated roles to portray I have to say he does a bit of a generic job that even some mall Santas might scoff at. However he carries the look pretty well and for what it's worth he works in this environment.

On the other hand, I was not a fan of the child actors either. There are four kids in this movie and they read their lines terribly. This might seem like a harsh judgement on behalf of how young they are but there are drama classes for kids around, the studio could have cast someone from one of those. This just seems like they did a quick coaching of the kids of the crewmembers and put them in front of the camera. This is also a strange movie to be complaining about this sort of things, but the characters weren't all that well-developed either, they don't actually seem to have something that looks like a personality and they just kinda go along with whatever is happening to them at any given time with very little resistance. Then again, how much would a kid actually complain if they got to get a trip on board a Martian spaceship? not much.

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians is worth a watch for that strange combination of holiday cheesiness and just plain bizarre concept. The film is kind of slow in the beginning but once they actually start having the Martians come to Earth the strangeness truly begins along with the dubious guilty pleasure of laughing at weird dialogue. If you wanted a science fiction christmas movie, well look no further! This is about as clear cut as the combination gets. I mean how do you get more in the holiday spirit than Santa Claus making sure Christmas gets to Mars? Easy answer, you don't. A curiosity of the space craze for sure, I'll say give the movie a try before you judge it too harshly.

Dragon Ball: Sleeping Princess in Devil's Castle (1987)

Film: Dragon Ball: Sleeping Princess in Devil's Castle (Doragon Bôru: Majinjô no nemuri hime)
Release: 1987, theatrical
Starring: Ceyli Delgadillo, Mike McFarland, Laurie Steele
Directed by: Daisuke Nishio
Previous in the series: Dragon Ball: Curse of the Blood Rubies
Next in the series: Dragon Ball: Mystical Adventure
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: The boy with the monkey tail, Son Goku, seeks out Master Roshi the turtle hermit in order to become his apprentice. However he gains a rival in the newcomer, a young but skilled martial artist named Krillin. Roshi decides he only wants one apprentice so he makes it into a contest: Whoever can save the legendary sleeping princess from the evil Count Lucifer's castle becomes his underling.

Hans' thoughts:

Continuing the trend set by Curse of the Blood Rubies, we're once again dealing with an alternate retelling of what is among fans known as "The Master Roshi saga". This is the story set immediately after the saga which Curse of the Blood Rubies was based on making this one of the few direct Dragon Ball movie sequels plus it's an indicator that at this point in the production of the tie-in movies they were trying to establish the movies as their own separate universe - but I'm getting ahead of myself. In this story, instead of telling how Krillin and Goku trained under Master Roshi the story turns into a fairy tale adventure with our heroes raiding a demon's castle. This is a step up from the former movie in quite a few ways, first off the setting is much more fantasy-like with the castle being larger than life and filled with statues of monsters - for a kids movie it actually manages to be very creepy even if most of it is just differently colored backgrounds. The setting of the movie being amongst demon's also allows for much more imaginative designs and while they didn't take the concept and run with it, it is a step-up from the very plain character designs of it's predecessor. 

A lot of modern fans tend to ignore this, but at this point in time Krillin was the closest Goku had to a rival, a spot that would later be taken by characters like Piccolo or Vegeta. While I love those two characters as much as any Dragon Ball fan, this movie reminded me of how closely Goku and Krillin used to resemble each other in strength. Other characters make an appearance as well, as an example Bulma does pay a small part in the story but for the most part it focuses on the adventure of Krillin and Goku. The villain this time is a Count Dracula type character named Count Lucifer, there's not really much to him - his motivations for doing what he does is barely explained and in a movie where most of the new designs are pretty interesting to look at he makes for the most boring design of all. I found myself being kind of taken aback by how boring he looks. At the very least the rest of the movie makes for much better entertainment so he amounts to a small failing at best.

The humor of the movie is pretty good as well, once again playing on how much more naive Goku is opposed to everyone else. The entire reason for Master Roshi to send them out for "The Sleeping Princess" in the first place pretty much amounts to him being a giant horndog so while the reasons behind the adventure on both sides are kind of dumbs, at least the actual action scenes, while not as good as in most other Dragon Ball stories, make for some pretty cool and funny moments. One of my main complaints for Curse of the Blood Rubies was the lack of the series sci-fi element and on that pedestal this movie is even lower, there is next to no indication whatsoever of the cool science fiction this series would later become in that most of it takes place in a medieval castle, however this time it didn't bother me as much because of the higher dedication to sticking to one setting in this film.

Artwise the movie is also a lot more vivid, the high amount of silly faces from the original series makes it mark in much higher amount here and it results in a bigger emphasis in carrying over the style - a lot of this actually looks like a Toriyama drawing instead of just an imitation by the animation studio in question. On the voice acting side I once again watched the dubbed version. While there is a pretty good performance from the regular cast I wasn't overly fond of the performance from most of the newcoming characters especially that of our main villain who, combined with a poor design, just came off as bland. This is really sad because the villain is voiced by Mike McFarland, the same person who voices Master Roshi with whom he actually did a pretty good job. Overall the film turned out to be a fun little fairy-tale adventure - however it fails to make the stakes feel all that high at all and that makes for a major problem in a show centered around a superpowered martial artist riding on a cloud.  I'd say watch it for a doze of that Dragon Ball humor but don't expect as good storytelling as in most other outings for the series. If not purely for curiosity's sake, there isn't much else to find here.

Article 100: The Neverending Story (1984)

Film: The Neverending Story
Release: 1984, Theatrical
Starring: Barret Oliver, Noah Hathaway, Thomas Hill
Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen
Next in the series: The Neverending Story II
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: The daydreamer Bastian is a troubled child, hounded by bullies he flees into a bookstore and makes a life changing choice

Hans' thoughts:

When I had to choose what to make Article 100, I was split between choosing the greatest movie ever or something that's special to me alone, both of which would've been articles I've already written. 

So I chose to go with a definite in-house favorite of both of us, The Neverending Story. To date, perhaps one of the greatest children's fantasies ever put to film. So what is the movie about? A young boy is living alone with his father after his mother's death, this was apparently recently as they both had trouble moving on afterwards, the father trying reluctantly to keep his son grounded in reality, even though he seems supportive enough. We quickly get established that Bastian is a daydreamer with his head in the clouds, he doesn't really think his decisions through and would rather spend his day reading or drawing - using his imagination as escapism. 

The movies theme however is about using escapism for the right reasons, during the movie Bastian overcomes his fears again and again to follow the tale of Atreyu on his quest to save the mythical kingdom of Fantasia. It deals with having the correct balance between imagination and reality, dealing with reality without forgetting the magical expanse of one's imagination. Not losing hope despite hardships, in other words.

On the technical side, most of the movie is done with practical effects, some of the weirder and more outlandish creatures being puppets. While the eerie atmosphere of the movie certainly helps to enforce the reality of the creatures, one can't help but notice the slight problems with lip syncing. this is especially apparent with the luckdragon Falcor who barely has any lip-movements, making him feel way too much like a puppet. It's not too bad however, you quickly accept the look of his character and your suspension of disbelief will have taken over well before he actually shows up in the movie anyway.

This is in my opinion largely due to the score and cinematography of the movie, the first shot of the Ivory tower early on in the movie never fails to give me chills. This is because of the otherworldliness of the synthetic music combined with the grandeur of the look of the actual Ivory tower, we have several slow panning shots of the tower, starting with a full total, then a few shots circling upwards from the bottom before giving us a birdseye view of the outdoor throneroom, filled with imaginative creatures of all shapes and sizes. The music in this movie was as I mentioned mostly done technologically, this was a growing trend at the time but what makes it work in this movie is that the story is supposed to take place in the world of fantasy, making the unnatural instruments fit the theme. It may not have been taking into consideration at the time, but it definitely works. 

While The Neverending Story has a very simple story and a theme that one has seen again and again, this is just awe-inspiring in the way that everything just kind of works, from the heartwarming moments with the friendly characters to the absolute sense of dread that comes with the main villain of "The Nothing". Indeed, making the evil our heroes fight against into the mere concept of everything disappearing leaving nothing in it's wake is just creepy to a whole different level than a visible being, it's a high concept and in a way, very Lovecraftian like the being Cthulhu, waiting in the depths of the oceans, sleeping in a death-like state till the stars align and he will consume all, no hope even for the believers. Leaving NOTHING behind. That's a pretty abstract creature for a child to comprehend, and I applaud both the original author of the book and the creators of the movie for taking a chance with giving us a villain without an actual face. The more visible villain stating "I was sent by the power behind The Nothing" only allows our Id's to scare us even more.

Brave (2012)

Film: Brave
Release: 2012, Theatrical
Starring: Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson
Directed by: Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman, Steve Purcell
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: In the scottish highlands, the princess Merida is more a warrior than a scholar, when she is set up for marriage, Merida runs off into the woods.

Hans' thoughts:

The beauty about Pixar movies is that a lot of the time, they can take a very simple story and give it a cornucopia of layers. Sure, the message may be pretty close to the surface, but it's never the focus of the story. Even the most 'preachy' one, Wall-E, is more of a cute little love story between robots than the environmental message it eventually becomes at least 15 minutes into the movie. Sometimes though, it can be nice with just a fairy tale that's well told and in that regard this movie definitely delivers. 

Brave takes place in Scotland, and all throughout the movie you have this beautiful forest esthetic. The music is for the most part celtic, making the movie a joy to just look at, the character designs are simple yet recognizable and the bright red hair of Merida and her little brothers make the movie really colorful even in it's darkest moments. 

When this movie came out, I noticed it got a lot of flak because people had expected more, this is the first Pixar movie with primarily female main characters and I suspect the lack of a larger message behind the movie is what frustrated some audiences. Pixar has spoiled us with deep movies over the years, so something as simple as this is out of the ordinary. Stick with it though, as it is both funny and heartwarming in it's simplicity. 

Sometimes, with enough icing, the simplest of cakes can be as tasteful as the complicated ones and this is such an occasion. It may not be the deepest of cartoons, but it is wonderfully animated, and with a pretty cute story to boot.

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 2 (2011)

Film: Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 2
Release: 2011, Theatrical
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Directed by: David Yates
Previous in the series: Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 1
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: After narrowly escaping captivity, Harry begins the search for the final Horcrux so he can finally confront Voldemort.

Hans' thoughts:

Here we are, the end of one of biggest franchises in books. As well as one of the most ambitious movie projects ever. Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 2 gives us all the final details, as well as the final fight scene between several of the characters. Harry fighting Voldemort, Neville cementing his status as a bad ass, Dumbledore finally explaining what the hell we've been looking at for the last 8 movies. So how is it? Does it do the absolutely awesome series roots justice?

Well, yes and no. While we certainly get all the action we could want, as well as a dearly needed statements of intent from some of the more ominous characters, this movie falls just flat of being great. Yes, Voldemort get's what he deserves, yes the special effects are absolutely gorgeous but honestly I feel kind of cheated out of something truly spectacular. Some of the characters that die are just sort of panned over, their deaths only mentioned in the passing (get it?). I also feel that as an adaptation, the movie could've fixed some of the problems of the source material. The most obvious being the pointless deaths of characters we barely know the names of. Tonks and Remus had a kid? When did that happen? Who's Tonks by the way? Of course, this is all something you would know better if you had read the books but this is also a flaw: These movies should be able to stand on their own, rather than simply cater to the readers. 

There's also the matter of the final scene of the movie. This is something everyone points out when talking about the movie so I'll make it brief: After the death of Voldemort, the movie jumps ahead 19 years to Harry as an adult taking his children to King's Cross to send them on their way to Hogwarts. This is a flaw grounded in the book, and I really feel it ruins most of the movie. Instead of getting a large celebration at the destruction of the dark lord, we're cheated out of the satisfaction.

While a satisfying end on the "villain gets what's been coming to him" part, one can't help but feel a bit disappointed after all these movies. 

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 1 (2010)

Film: Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallow Part 1
Release: 2010, theatrical
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Directed by: David Yates
Previous in the series: Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince
Next in the series: Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 2
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: All hell has broken loose in the wizarding world. Each day, more and more people, muggles and wizards alike winds up either dead or disappeared. In the midst of all this, Harry Potter is preparing to find all the Horcruxes so he can finally destroy Voldemort.

Hans' thoughts:

Here we are, the second to last movie. The final hurrah before the big blow-out in the final battle. The book of this movie is huge, which is why they decided to cut it in half for these last two movies. Making the number of movies eight rather than seven. Because of this, I decided to watch these two last movies back to back, and it confirmed for me that Part 1 actually works much better as a first and second act of one big movie. With all of Part 2 being the final act. 

The story of this movie is very much in the vein of hard work. It kinda says "Okay we know what to do, now we just have to go do it". None of it takes place on Hogwarts, as Harry instead decides to go on a treasure hunt for the "horcruxes" - pieces of Voldemort's soul that must be destroyed in order to finally off him. The movie also starts something that Part 2 would eventually finish up, that something being that Dumbledore might not be all what he's crammed up to be. Part 2 will eventually give us somewhat of an answer to that question but I have to stress that if you're really curious about not only Dumbledore's past, but Voldemorts motivations as well you really have to pick up the book instead. 

The movie instead decides to stay in the now, being very much an action-adventure story. Harry, Ron and Hermione go around to different places in the wizarding world, some of which we've seen before. It also has a very cool animated sequence narrated by Emma Watson. As a standalone movie, this would fail. It's a bit rushed at places and the characters personalities seem a bit vague. However, considering it's the 7th installment in a continuous story and only the first part of a two part movie it actually works pretty well. Everything is addressed and taken care of so that Part 2 can focus mainly on what we've waited for since the beginning.  The final battle between Harry and Voldemort is looming in the distance and rightfully in this part of the story, everything just seems to be falling apart before everything will be fixed. Just like a first and second act should be.

Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince (2009)

Film: Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince
Release: 2009, Theatrical
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Directed by: David Yates
Previous in the series: Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix
Next in the series: Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 1
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: Returning for his sixth year at Hogwarts, Harry receives a hand-me-down book for potions class. In it is several notes that is written by a former student - so naturally Harry uses them. But who exactly is The Half-Blood Prince?

Hans' thoughts:

So we're back in the world of wizards, this time not bothering with the Dursley's at all. Let it be known though, it's been quite a while since I read the book of this one. Let's get to it.

After two, fairly weak movies things are finally starting to look up again. Gone is the desperate attempts to look like Prisoner of Azkaban and back are the ambitious beautiful shots of Sorcerer's Stone. Yes, overall this actually feels a lot more close to the original three movies. It's got the darker, somber tone of Prisoner, but the at the same time the good sense to try and filter out the teen drama of the series. Trust me when I say, Harry's love life was subject to much more drama in the book-series than the movies would have you believe. I'm also very fond of the lack of characters. Granted, a good adaptation should always strive to keep it as true to the source material as possible but around this era of the books, the story became very much crowded. Suddenly, you had to remember a lot of names of characters that in actuality wouldn't play that big of a part in the larger scheme.

Order of the Phoenix was the worst in that regard, with it's Dumbledore's Army subplot. If you've only bothered to watch the movies, you'll most likely be glad to hear that we finally get some insight to the motivations of Voldemort, who also otherwise not present in this movie. Instead, we're actually giving Draco Malfoy something to do after building him up as the Anti-Potter for five movies. He actually sets the framework for most of the good eerie imagery that the movie has to offer. I found myself going "WAIT, Go back to Malfoy! I wanna see what HE'S doing!" this time around. Which is more than I can say for the former movies where he was just sorta.. there.

As for the actors, I feel that a lot of the veterans has hit a bit of a slump. All three of the main personas seem to be just going through the motions in this movie, with the worst case being Daniel Radcliffe. Now, just to clarify, behind the scenes things weren't going so well at this point. Several of the involved actors had announced on several occasions that they wouldn't stay around for the remainder of the series. Only to be bought back in by Warner Bros. come shooting day. Increasing demands for payments, coupled with some of the stereotypical mandatory former child actor substance abuse must've made these last couple of movies a living hell for a lot of crew. But I digress. Just to say something positive about the acting, I'm sad to admit I've neglected to highlight the talent of actress Evanna Lynch who played Luna Lovegood. In all of her appearances she manages to steal the scene, portraying the character perfectly.

Overall, the presence of actual competence in this movie is a well-needed breath of fresh air for a series that had been going very much downhill. With only two movies left, it wasn't a minute too soon.

Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix (2007)

Film: Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix
Release: 2007, Theatrical
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Directed by: David Yates
Previous in the series: Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire
Next in the series: Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: When Harry and his muggle-cousin Dudley are attacked by Dementors, Harry is expelled from Hogwarts for fending them off - underaged wizards aren't allowed to use magic outside of school.

Hans' thoughts:

Here we are, the fifth story of the bunch. Like Prisoner of Azkaban, this had a lot of potential for basing the movie on a main theme. No, this movie actually takes after Goblet of Fire. Only the quality has started to not only fall into blandness, but stagnate. Granted, being true to the source material is more important than anything - but making the movie actually enjoyable to watch should be deemed just a important. Order of the Phoenix is a story about trust, standing up for your values and learning how to rely on the help of others. It's a pretty good morale, and had the movie delved into the story's theme as much as Azkaban did, there could have been something great here.

Unfortunately the movie just seems to blurt out an abridged version of the book of sorts. These are the most important moments from the book - read it if you care to learn more. I have to say that I suspect the character of Grawp wouldn't even have been introduced had he not been a part of the story's climax. This story also does the same thing I liked so much about Azkaban - to a lesser extent. Whereas in Azkaban, the villain was merely a result of Voldemort in this movie Voldemort himself appears yet again for the final battle. Although through most of the movie the more immediate threat is that of Dolores Umbridge, the newly appointed high inquisitor of Hogwarts delegated by The Ministry of Magic.

In the book, Umbridge has a lot of facets that makes her a complete character, from her insane devotion to the Minister of Magic, her sadistic nature, to her ultimate driving force being that of order - inspiring such 'charming' aspects as actually being downright racist towards magical creatures. This is sort of acknowledged in the movie, but it doesn't really drive the point home as much as I had hoped. Dolores Umbridge is a pretty obvious caricature of the former Prime minister of England - Margaret Thatcher. 

So the whole issue of the movie is as such: Voldemort has returned in full force. Of course, the only one that actually witnessed his return was Harry himself. Meaning that now the ministry of magic is too comfortable with peace to believe him and he has to deal with the pressure of everyone considering him a liar. This could have been a great movie about dealing with that, the whole thing could have been based on the nature of trust because the original story was so grounded in that concept. Everyone's trust gets tested in this story, and they could have gone so far with it.

So that's the movies biggest fault, it tried way too hard to just play it safe and do whatever happened in the book without questioning why. The movie is all presentation and no substance.

Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire (2005)

Film: Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire
Release: 2005, Theatrical
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Directed by: Mike Newell
Previous in the series: Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban
Next in the series: Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: Leading up to his 4th year at Hogwarts, Harry is taken by his friends the Weasley family to see the Quidditch World Cup.

Hans' thoughts:

So once again we have a new Harry Potter and once again we have a completely different movie than the former. With Alfonso Cuarón out of the picture we now have Mike Newell. Whereas Cuarón played very much on the horror aspect of the franchise, Newell's approach is much more grounded in traditional fantasy.  That said, this is also a story in which we get a lot more information on magical creatures, and some more insight into the politics of the wizard society.

Of course the main event(s) of the story is thus: Harry is back at another year at Hogwarts, everything seems quite simple - they even cut out the Dursley's this time around. Which is quite refreshing, as the stories were getting rather formulaic. This time, Headmaster Dumbledore announces that Hogwarts has been chosen as host for a major competition called the tri-wizard tournament. What it basically is, is some kind of Olympic Championship wherein the three biggest schools of wizard society participate in skill. This also gives us a little bit of insight - not much though - in international wizard relationships. This is something this movie is the first one to do, in the books however we did get the odd mention of international wizards when Harry read the news. A running gag seems to be middle-eastern countries refusing to give up flying carpets. In any case, none of that has been mentioned in the movies and here we get our first meet with international wizards. We get the french school of magic for girls, Beauxbaton. Apparently all girls at Beaubaton must wear revealing capes and make suggesting gestures towards the men of Hogwarts. 

Where Cuarón had changed a lot of stuff from the second movie to his own, this movie curiously enough decided to stick with his changes - the character (played again, by Warwick Davis in what should have been a cameo appearance) that's never referred to as Professor Flitwick in "Prisoner..", merely "the conductor", suddenly lends it's appearance as what would become the permanent appearance of Flitwick for the remainder of the movies. Another consistency is the color-scheming of the movie, as this also settles very much in the grey and light-blue patterns. Albeit a bit more colorful than "Prisoner". 

As for the acting, I can finally tell that a lot of these actors have grown into their roles. I have to say though, if there's one change from the books to the movie I wouldn't have minded it would be the removal of Cedric Diggory. Cedric wasn't much of a character in the book and being played by stone-faced Robert Pattinson in the movie version certainly doesn't help his cause. I would call him a two-dimensional character, but that would argue he had a character to begin with. As such I would hereby like to grant Cedric Diggory the prestigious "Pointless-character-brought-into-the-forefront award". Congratulations Cedric, may this award be as rare as it is snarky.

Is this a bad movie? No it isn't. It's saved by the interesting plot that the book had - but trust me, it doesn't really have much else. It serves to move the plot forward, but whereas the former stories had such pronounced themes, this one just kind of happens. It's a spectacle movie first and foremost, and by now most of the audience had started using the "Might as well finish the series when I got this far" excuse, giving the company leisure enough to not really try anything out or go all-out. While still attempting to make the movie bearable or entertaining enough to not completely bore it's audience. It's a shame, because the story could have offered so much more. As it stands, this leaves me with the feeling that the quality of these productions had started to stagnate.

Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

This was actually the least awful poster

Film: Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban
Release: 2004, theatrical
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Directed by: Alfonso Cuarón
Previous in the series: Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets
Next in the series: Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: After running away from home in the time leading up to his 3rd semester at Hogwarts, Harry Potter learns that a convicted felon named Sirius Black has escaped the wizard prison known as Azkaban and is looking for him.

Hans' thoughts:

This one marked the change of a few things for the Harry Potter cinematic series. First off, It starts the era of mood-change. Having left the directors chair, Chris Columbus left a significant gap that other director had a hard time filling out for a while. The series not getting a returning director till the release of Order of The Phoenix, the director in question being David Yates. However, I'm getting ahead of myself. This is the work of Alfonso Cuarón, a man who's work both before and after this movie is not particularly well-known. Not going to hold that against him though. The mood of this movie is a lot more haunting than the former movies. While Chamber of Secrets did delve into the potential for horror the franchise has, it was still firmly grounded in the action-adventure genre. This one not so much. The theme of the story is very much fear and helplessness, and the creators sure managed to drive that point home. The story features the scariest Harry Potter creation yet, The Dementors. Faceless hooded creatures that live off of fear and makes you relive the darkest moment of your life. This is dark stuff, and it fits the surrounding environment very much. The color scheme of the movie has also changed a lot. Whereas the former movies had a lot of warmth, most of Hogwarts being dimly lit by torches, this movie has a lot of cold colors. Grey and white are very much dominant in this movie. It actually got to a point where it got a little too much, they could have loosened up on the darkness just a little bit.

Bookwise, this story is my favorite of the lot. Partly because it's one of the few books that actually kind of ignores Voldemort. Whereas the villain in the two former stories was the Dark Lord himself in some form or another, this one actually just tells a story about how bad everything can turn up when you let your life be ruled by fear. This story also by far has the best twist, and the most mystery surrounding the main villain. We never actually get to see the Prisoner of Azkaban till the final part of the final act, everything up until then being foreshadowing. Some of the foreshadowing being better than other I should note - if you know the story already some of the foreshadowing actually gets a bit tedious. Speaking of tediousness, while the comedy of the book was the best of the series this movie just kind of falls flat. Now don't get me wrong, you will most likely laugh at one or two jokes, but the best part of the book is the physical comedy - which the movie seems to ignore completely save for a single moment. A moment that the movie was kinda forced to show, due to the plot. I'm not saying they should have engaged it completely as it wouldn't match the tone but really, it would have been nice with just something to lighten up the mood sometimes.

As for the sets, did they lose the old ones? Hogwarts looks a lot different this time around, some locations having completely changed from where they were in the previous movie. The most obvious being the entrance to the Gryffindor quarters. They moved a whole corridor, did they think the audience wouldn't notice? Speaking of goof-offs, when we first meet Ron and Hermione this time around, Harry walks through a corridor where we clearly see Crookshanks (a cat) chasing Scabbers (a rat) in the opposite direction. However, when the camera pans to the end of the corridor following Harry, Ron and Hermione is at the end of a staircase each holding their respective pet. This could have been fixed by just making the cat and rat run in the same direction Harry was facing, so Ron and Hermione holding them would've been plausible. There's also a few things we get explained in a single line of dialogue in the book, that they apparently decided to ignore in the movie - such as why Remus Lupin knows about the Marauder's Map. We're just kinda meant to assume on that point.

My gripes aside, it's a perfectly serviceable movie. When the movie came out and I saw it as a kid, I remember absolutely hating it. However, after I've become older and rewatched it for this review. I kinda liked it. It did a lot better job tail-ending a lot of stuff it set up, and when they actually bothered with showing us magic it looked pretty plausible. So color me pleasantly surprised.

Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets (2002)

Film: Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets
Release: 2002, Theatrical
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Directed by: Chris Columbus
Previous in the series: Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's stone
Next in the Series: Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: Before his return to Hogwarts for his second school year, Harry Potter is visited by the house elf Dobby who warns him not to return for the sake of his own safety.

Hans' thoughts:

Once again we're brought into the magical world of Harry Potter, this time giving us a bit more insight into normal day-to-day wizard life. While "Sorcerer's Stone" was very much about being introduced to the wizard society and had a very adventurous feel to it, Chamber of Secrets is the first of the Potter stories to anchor onto the horror aspect of the series. Something that would be a defining feature for the movies to come. As far as sequels do, this movie does exactly what a movie should do. It has more locations, more characters, higher stakes and a larger than life story. Chamber of Secrets is just a much bigger movie overall. Now, this movie does have some aspects of which it is lesser than Sorcerer's Stone. First off, the shots are not nearly as ambitious as the former movie, Indeed it straight up copies the famous shot from Alien. The movie also has a lot more of a cartoony feel to it. It plays much more on the comedy of the book, which is kinda weird considering the high potential for horror this particular story has.

However, to it's credit the comedy kind of works out as a saving grace. As the movies tone manages to keep the creepiness abound but without making it completely dull - which I imagine a full-on childrens horror story could have done. As such it becomes more of an adventure story. I have to admit, I absolutely adore the sets of this movie. While the actual CGI has aged a bit worse than in Sorcerer's, the sets are as great as ever. From the look of the Weasley household, to the staircase leading up to Professor Dumbledore's office. The actual Chamber of Secrets is actually very creepy, though a bit of a letdown after all the build up. I mean hey, the title of the thing is "Chamber of Secrets" so I didn't expect it to be so.. empty. However, as it stands the climax is exciting enough to make it unnoticeable. The villains of the movie is also a lot more interesting, Lucius Malfoy making for a very real threat. We also get some backstory for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. In all seriousness, if we're only going by the movies this was needed - badly! He was barely established in Sorcerer's. 

As for the acting, I can't feel the difference when it comes to the child actors. They're still kind of stumbling through it, but good enough that it doesn't take you out of the experience. The addition of Kenneth Branagh is a fun change though, He makes for a fun character. This is the movie of the series I've seen the most, as this is the one that came out when my Harry Potter fandom was at it's peak. As such, this remains to this day my absolute favorite - as opposed to the ones coming up. But we'll talk about those when we get to them.

Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

I personally think this particular poster is
some of artist Drew Struzan's finest work

Film: Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone
Alternate Title: Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone (original British book-title)
Alternate Versions: Theatrical/Ultimate
Release: 2001, Theatrical
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Directed by: Chris Columbus
Next in the series: Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: Harry Potter lives under the stairs in the house of his extended family, The Dursleys. Being an unwanted houseguest most of his life, everything changes when an extreme amount of strange letters arrive at the household.

Hans' thoughts:

Harry Potter as a franchise, is quite the rarity. Nevermind the actual quality of the individual works in the series (movies, books or otherwise). No, what makes Harry Potter special is that for a few years, everyone was talking about fantasy. For whatever reason, right there and then in the early 2000's tons of fantasy stories was being adapted to movie form. This includes series like Narnia and The Golden Compass. I like to think that this is due to the success of this movie, and the other major fantasy movie coming out that year - The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. Suddenly out of nowhere, two of the biggest fantasy book series get movie adaptations the same year and they both completely wrecked the notions of how niche-genres do at the box office. Suddenly, geekdom took over Hollywood.

Other than that, imagine how risky it must've been to actually pour money into this movie. Here you've got Warner Bros., a major movie-making company since the birth of Hollywood pouring a severe amount money into what? An up-and-coming British children's' book series starring mostly child or somewhat unknown actors and with a high need for special effects! They really took a risk with this, popular books or no we're talking about a movie that needs to believably feature: monsters, ghosts and flying broomsticks amongst other things. Meaning a lot of the budget was poured into the special effects I imagine. You've also got some pretty big names attached to it (Maggie Smith, John Hurt, Alan Rickman). Whoever pitched this movie must've had a tongue made of solid silver.

That's great and all, but how does it hold up today? Well, not too shabby I'd say. With regards to acting, I'm actually impressed with how well some of the child actors did - considering that for most of them, this was their debut. The special effects are still kind of nice to look at, while some of it tends to look a little bit dated (a certain beast in a certain bathroom springs to mind) I have to say I had a hard time telling how old is was at times. The best example of a scene that's aged really well is what I will simply refer to as "The Chess Scene" where the animation was top notch. The movie also presents some stunning shots, the most iconic is probably the rowboats with lanterns crossing the lake in the dark, with the screen panning up to reveal the dimly lit castle of Hogwarts.

Now, I do have some gripes with this movie. While some of it's problems can be explained with "It's a childrens story" I have to point out the flaw of the pacing. The most of the movie is actually paced quite well, you have Harry exploring the wizards alternate world and you get to see how detailed the universe is. From it's own fully realized sport down to what kind of candy is available on a wizards train-ride is in this movie. However, I could have done with some more screen time for some of the teacher characters of the movie. The book did a much better job of setting up the twist at the end of the movie and we could overall just have done with more scenes of the characters going to class. As it stands though, I realize that children probably couldn't have sat through how much longer the movie would have had to be to address that.

As far as kids movies go, this sits in the upper-half of the spectrum. It managed to capture the imagination of millions of children worldwide and turn a whole generation of gamers and TV-slaves into readers, at least for a little while. The movie manages to be enjoyable to adults as well, and I am glad I decided to revisit it.

Peter Pan (1988)

Had to scan my VHS copy for this one
- Hans

Film: Peter Pan
Release: 1988, video
Starring: Phillip Hinton, Keith Scott, Daniel Floyd 
Directed by: Franco Cristofani
IMDB Page: Link opens in a new window
Description: Every night, Peter Pan and Tinkerbell listen to the stories told in the Darling household. One day, circumstances turn to Peter showing the Darling children his homeworld Neverland where he intends to make the oldest, Wendy, the new mother of the lost boys.

Hans' thoughts:

This is a very different take on the tale of Peter Pan. Peter in this version is endlessly egotistical, Tinkerbell is downright cruel and for some reason Captain Hook is kind of obnoxious. The voice actors has also chosen to, for whatever reason, make weird sounds for the characters whenever there isn't any scripted lines. This results in the characters, the pirates especially, making a lot of weird grunts. The character model also comes off almost constantly, making them sort of fluid. This happens a lot to especially Hook (who looks nothing like this cover by the way). Is the movie any good? Well if you don't like Disney it provides you with an alternative. It at least sticks very much to the story, but don't take it for anything more than what it is. That is, if you can actually track this version down. I do have some compliments, while the characters are very much off model the glowing effects on Tinkerbell is very well done. To the point of it being hard to see the actual outlines on the characters. But she definitely glows. The backgrounds are pretty well colored. It's actually a pretty beautiful movie if you remove all the characters. But that kinda removes the point of it being a movie, does it not?