The Big Lebowski (1998)

Film: The Big Lebowski
Release: 1998, theatrical
Starring: Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore
Directed by: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: Jobless slob Jeff Lebowski, otherwise known as The Dude is thrown into a kidnapping negotiation when he's confused for a local billionaire with the same name

Hans' thoughts:

Between bowling tournaments, drug fantasies, riled up war veterans and one of the most complicated to sum up movies of all time, The Big Lebowski sits as one of those big quotable cult classic comedies. Made by the impeccable Coen bros., The Big Lebowski stars Jeff Bridges as "The Dude" a laidback slob that signs checks for ridiculously small amounts and whose only social outing is that of the ongoing Bowling league where he hangs out with his peers. The paranoid and quick to arms Vietnam veteran Walter played by John Goodman and the socially awkward loser Donny played by Steve Buscemi. Everything takes a radical turn for the complicated when The Dude is mistaken for a multimillionaire of the same name, said multimillionaire being the titular "Big Lebowski" whose wife owes a considerable amount of money to a local loan shark and pornography magnate and then seemingly gets kidnapped. The Dude will now have to balance the drama of being hired to negotiate with the kidnappers while fighting his own personal battle of wanting to win the local bowling league where his greatest adversary is the colorful sex offender Jesus Quintana played by John Turturro. This may seem like I'm spoiling the plot of the movie, but trust me that this is actually just the setup for a plot that will go further and further down a very strange rabbit hole. 

Acting wise the movie is great, The Coen brothers have always been a star pull and this time is no exception. John Goodman and Jeff Bridges as the movies leads make for a very funny oddball pair and every character in the movie is just so darn colorful that you can tell the actors involved had fun on the set. There's not really much of a limit to the utter cool of The Dude, he's a laidback guy who's just found his special sweet spot in the world and he very much channels the spirit of a grown up hippie who's never really gotten to the point of a formal career but instead decided to do whatever he wants. He may not be a big player in the political leagues or a hero in the formal sense but The Dude is nevertheless a man steadfast on his principles and he really just wants to go on existing the way he's done so far which is what makes him so relatable everytime he tries to call it quits on the strange version of The Hero's Journey he's been put on. Bridges does a great job of portraying the character and you can kinda see elements from his performance as Flynn in the 1982 movie Tron as he prefers pleasure to duty and is bare bones honest about it. The Dude is very much a hero of the era he exists in and would go on to become an icon of 20-somethings everywhere. The film is also littered with strange but compelling and well choreographed dream sequences where we explore the psyche of our very laid back character. 

While the plot may seem very complicated, it never goes too far and leaves the casual audience behind. Reusing many of the same characters and expanding on them while the movie goes along even minor characters kinda get their own little moment in the movie and we can kinda tell who they are even if we're never given all that much time with them or information about their past. It's very reminiscent of the Iceberg-style created by late author Ernest hemingway, a style where you're only shown the tip of the iceberg directly but it's a tip that you can really read a lot into thus revealing the rest of the iceberg hidden underneath. It's a very show-don't-tell style and one I feel really fits the visual medium but unfortunately never get's used enough. This is an independent piece and that use of style is a sign of it, I very much doubt that a film like The Big Lebowski would've been greenlit by a major studio. However the Coen bros funds all their movies themselves and the revenue always goes into the next project, they only really use the big companies like Universal Studios as in this case for the sake of distribution to a mainstream audience. That's a pretty hard thing to pull off, yet the Coen bros. have done so with all of their movies and it really speaks for the amount of talent that's behind them. Especially interesting to me were the political commentary inherent in the story. There are next to no innocents in this movie and everyone is portrayed as a bit of a two-faced buffoon with the only possible exceptions being Steve Buscemi's Donny and Julianne Moore's character whom shall go unnamed for the sake of spoilers. The Bowling imagery is a running theme in the movie and what exactly it means is thankfully left to interpretation, something I once again don't think a mainstream studio would've let slide.

The Big Lebowski is one of those bizarre instances of good acting meeting good scriptwriting and magic just happening on screen. Between characters taking on a life of their own, really well-written dialogue and some fun imagery the film presents us with a strange journey taken by a strange man where he meets strange people. The film takes on nihilism, social status, the burden of keeping up appearances and the presidency of George Bush senior all seen through the eyes of a man who actually just wants to be left alone and live out his humble but comfortable existence. 

Fargo (1996)

Film: Fargo
Release: 1996, theatrical
Starring: Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, William H. Macy
Directed by: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: A man wanting to cheat his wealthy father-in-law out of a large sum of money plans a fake kidnapping scheme that goes horribly wrong.

Hans' thoughts:

Written, Directed, Produced and Edited by the phenomenal Coen Bros. we have Fargo, the story of what too much greed and do to you. Conman and car salesman Jerry Lundegaard finds out he needs a rather large sum of money and so he arranged a fake kidnapping of his wife so he could get money out of his wealthy father-in law. To do that he hires two crooks, Carl Showalter played by Steve Buscemi and Gaear Grimsrud by Peter Stormare. Everything seems to go fine, but when the psychopathic Gaear shoots and kills a traffic patrol officer followed by a likvidation of witnesses the two kidnappers are now at the receiving end of a manhunt. The officer in charge is the kindhearted, highly pregnant detective Marge Gunderson played by Frances McDormand. The film is a lonely one, while all the characters have people they interact with on a daily basis throughout the movie, they all ultimately end up alone in their key moment of the film. Marge Gunderson is a happily married woman, but when she finally catches up to the bad guys she does so completely alone. Jerry Lundegaard is also finally captured alone, and the two crooks that become the driving force behind the event of the film all ultimately meet their fates on their own in some regard. 

Gunderson, our main character, is almost a Christ or Maria character. Being kind and forgiving to everyone she meets she never displays anything that remotely looks like a dark side. She's a lover, not a killer and she simply cannot comprehend the kind of darkness that defines so many of the characters in the film. This could very well have been a very bland character, if not for the excellent performance by McDormand that makes this character seem infinitely believable - like the way a child would see their mother. Kind but firm. A lot of the shots of the film are done from very far away, in the infinite cold landscape of Middle-America where the film takes place. Large empty sceneries with singular characters walking through a very empty world. The snowy environment makes us focus directly on the action, while also providing a sad empty atmosphere. In stark contrast, you have most of the scenes with Marge Gunderson be in company with someone else, either questioning people for leads on her case or being home with her husband. All these shots, with the exception of when she's at the scenes of darkness like the chases or the crime scenes, have warm indoor colours. However all of the police character treat the murder much less dramatically than you usually see in these kinds of stories. Saddened by the loss but with a professional restraint and objectivity - they're at their workplace. It's a very nice change of pace from what you usually see in the genre where characters will become personally involved.

Completely polarizing from Marge you have the silent giant Gaear Grimsrud. Gaear is a taker of life instead of a giver and while Marge will likely make kind idle conversation with other characters Gaear is a man of ultimate materialism. He doesn't interact with others except when completely necessary and he clearly has a very cold darkness inside of him, comparable to the unkind snowy landscape that surrounds the movie. The one that suffers the ultimate punishment however is the movies tour de force, Jerry Lundegaard. He's almost comically tragic in how everything just goes wrong for him at every turn, the same can be said for Steve Buscemi who's in tip top shape doing what he does best in the role of Carl Showalter. He's a fast-talking unlucky man that like Grimsrud takes pleasure in materialism but doesn't stop at the little things. While Grimsrud finds pleasure in a TV-show and a small dinner, the despicable Showalter wants everything that's best in life, women food and alcohol. Some of the best moments in the movie comes from Buscemi as everything just falls apart around him in what should have been an easy bit of money. 

Fargo is not for everyone, the films main driving force is it's celebration of the simple things and it's intimidating atmosphere. It may feel too slow for audiences used to more actiondriven stories about remakable people. For the rest of us, here is a sweet story about a mother-to-be trying to comprehend the significantly darker world around her and her little family. 

Count Dracula's Great Love (1973)

Film: Count Dracula's Great Love

Alternate Titles: Dracula, Dracula's Castle, Dracula: The Movie,Cemetery Girls, Vampire Playgirls, Cemetery Tramps, Enter Dracula and Dracula's Virgin Lovers

Release: 1973, theatrical

Starring: Paul Naschy, Rosanna Yanni, Haydée Politoff

Directed by: Javier Aguirre

IMDB page: Link opens in a new window

Description: When their stagecoach breaks down in the middle of a forest, four young girls and a professor has to rely on the hospitality of an Austrian doctor living in a secluded castle, unfortunately the good doctor turns out to be none other than the king of vampires himself, Dracula!

Hans' thoughts:

In the 1960's and early 70's, the classic horror icons had made a triumphant return to the screen with the movies by Hammer Films. The films had blood, gore and beautiful women becoming victims of overpowering monsters. One of the most popular monster series from Hammer was the Dracula films starring Christopher Lee, a role in which he would become simply iconic. I imagine those were what the creators had in mind when a small spanish studio decided to do their own Dracula feature, filled with all the big selling points from the era. Before you make any assumptions, no I'm not saying that the Spanish can't make horror movies, in fact they created what many consider the best version of the 1930's Dracula movie, shot side by side with the Bela Lugosi version. El Gran Amor Del Conde Dracula however, is nothing like that. This movie is as barebones as it gets.

the most convincing actors of the movie, the horses, unfortunately
leave early on.

So after an actually not too bad opening scene, we see the first problem with the movie. During the opening credits, the death scene of a man rolling down some stairs is looped. blatantly. I don't know if the creators had run out of time when they got to this point, but just for the record: If you want to show all your credits in the beginning of the film please at least show something else in the background than what amounts to looking at the same .GIF animation for three minutes. I'll be honest and say that I actually shut the movie off by this point for a couple of hours, I needed mental preparation for what I was in for.

So after being huddled up in a corner muttering to myself for a few minutes, I was ready to jump right back into the movie. Forcing myself to sit through the draining force of the opening credits. What awaited me on the other side was almost just as bad. We meet our "heroes" in the stagecoach. Here they're having a conversation about local tales from the area, what fascinates me is that even through the poor English dub of the movie, I could still recognize poor acting ability AND poor writing. I don't know if the sentence "What beautiful stories I will have to tell when I get back to Munich" followed by the horrific legend of Dracula sounds natural in the movie's native language but I very much doubt it. This is of course, a pretty shortsighted attempt at delivering exposition. Get used to this, because almost every line spoken by any character in most of the movie is not natural conversation at all but rather blatant exposition dumping. 

To be fair, being told a good horror story is not the reason this movie was made at all. It becomes pretty clear by the 20 minute point that this movie was made almost exclusively with the male demographic in mind, when the main characters aren't flashing their mammaries, they're walking around with pretty low-cut dresses. At the very least the film is honest about it's intentions early on. I don't think it's a secret to anyone why this particular piece was a feature on "Movie Macabre", a TV-show presented by hostess character "Elvira, Mistress of the Dark". It was a late night comedy tv-show where the hostess would sport revealing clothing and show B-list horror films. Therefore, once you've come to terms with what exactly this film is you can most likely turn your brain off and enjoy the fun. The rest of the movie is pretty much what you would expect from a film like this. The four girls are turned by Count Dracula one by one and forced to torture young women from the nearby village. 

I have to defend something in this movie though: I really like the sets. As cheesy as it is, whatever mansion was chosen to act as the castle in this movie gets the job done and when it does have to at least pay homage to the setting of the film, it does so well. Poor acting abilities aside, I like the scenes where they actually attempt to build up an atmosphere even though they fail in most cases. If you're able to watch absolute lowest denominator crap and still have a good time with it, this is for you. This movie just barely hits the "so bad it's good" mark which is what made it tolerable. You have to give the movie points for at least trying to deliver a fun experience, if you want a different look at Dracula this is a fun, albeit poorly made, attempt.

As with "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter", this film is in the Public Domain, meaning you can watch the movie RIGHT NOW. Right here in the article. Alternatively you can download the film right HERE. 

Story-liners: 5 Days a Stranger (2003)

Game: 5 Days a Stranger
Release: 2003, Freeware
Created by: Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw
Next in the series: 7 Days a Skeptic
Homepage: Link opens in a new window
Description: A nameless cat-burglar thinks he's in for a smooth get in-take all job in an abandoned mansion when the window suddenly locks behind him. He soon realises he's locked in with 4 others - who one by one starts to show up dead.

Hans' thoughts:

Before becoming well-known for his game review series on The Escapist Magazine, Zero Punctuation, Ben Croshaw aka. Yahtzee was best known for creating freeware video game titles and releasing them on his homepage, Fully Ramblomatic. Arguably his most popular games were the "Chzo Mythos" games, a series of lovecraft-esque horror adventure games, mostly centered around the concepts of helplessness and seclusion. 5 Days a Stranger is the first in the series, sharing it's gameplay and graphics engine with the adventure games of the early 1990's released by Sierra and Lucas Arts.

5 Days is one of those horror stories that by-passes limitations with it's creepy atmosphere and keeps your attention with a well-written mystery. The murderer could be anyone, and the eerie sense of looming danger that the seemingly harmless mansion manages to create is something that should be taken note of by any aspiring horror writer. What exactly is going on, and why everything is happening the way it is turns out to be more complicated than it seems to be initially and in spite of the low resolution graphics, your suspension of disbelief will kick in quite quickly. This isn't a game that abuses the jump scare tactic like most modern works, in fact I'd argue that there really is only one and that one is set up so well that critics of the technique won't have anything to complain about. 

Of course the game does have it's shortcomings, though they are few and far inbetween. The most obvious one would be the lack of voice acting, though I would argue that the silence the game has throughout most of it (There is little to no music in this game outside of events or the title screen) manages to emerge you in the seclusion, your footsteps on the floor being one of the only sounds when you make your way through the mansion. I simply cannot recommend this game enough, if you feel you have trouble with the low-resolution graphics I strongly suggest giving it a try and playing through it anyway. It will give you the same feeling as a novel would give - the writing is certainly just as good. I'm sure you will have chills down your spine as you explore the dark history of the old house and it's surroundings.

As I mentioned, 5 Days a Stranger is a freeware title, meaning the original creator has made the game for free use by anyone who want to. Therefore you can get your fingers on the title RIGHT HERE.

And sweet dreams.

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter (1966)

Film: Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter

Release: 1966, Theatrical

Starring: John Lupton, Narda Onyx, Cal Bolder

Directed by: William Beaudine

IMDB page: Link opens in a new window

Description: While on the run from the law, notorious criminal Jesse James hides out in the castle of Maria Frankenstein, the granddaughter of the legendary scientist who created monsters from the bodies of the dead.

Hans' thoughts:

Originally released as part of a double feature with another famous horror icon meeting a real life western legend (Billy The Kid Vs. Dracula). This film is probably the one with the most serious tone, core concept notwithstanding. Set in 1882, the movie actually takes place after the announced death of Jesse James. For the curious here's some actual historical insight: In the movie they state that James is supposed to have been hanged publicly before the events of the film, but in reality Jesse James was shot in the back of the head, betrayed by a member of his gang. The other titular character is the GRANDdaughter of the original Doctor Frankenstein (why the title says daughter I have no idea), she and her brother has continued the original doctor's experiments and been forced to move to America from Vienna. If we're strictly counting years, these being the grandchildren of Doctor Frankenstein would sort of make sense, if we go by the logic that the original tale took place at the same time of the novel: 1810.. But I digress.

Narda Onyx (right) and John Lupton (left) each play the
titular characters of the movie.

As far as the concept of the movie goes, I have serious trouble believing that there was a market for this particular crossover. As far as I can tell, the two stories have absolutely nothing to do with each other and the "golden age" of horror films had ended in the beginning of the 1940's. Strange as the crossover may be, I actually really like the character of Maria Frankenstein. She makes for a great villain, with little to no regard for her fellow humans. She even treats her own brother, the disillusioned and reluctant Rudolph, with little to no respect. While nothing like the historical Jesse James, I also like the performance by John Lupton. He's very calm and collected, unphased by most of the problems around him so he makes for your typical bad ass western hero. As for the monster of the movie, they chose to go with a sort of Mice & Men dynamic between Jesse James and his partner who would later become the mindless creature. He's a physically strong, slightly dimwitted man who seems to be merely misguided into the criminal life. The design of the monster is also VERY simplistic to say the least, most likely due to the movie being low-budget. But honestly, in spite of their choice to make a notorious robber and murderer into their main character, the Jesse James in the movie is played nothing like the sort of person who would become this feared.

Acting wise, while both of our titular characters are given pretty good performances, the rest of the cast are kind of stiff in their deliveries, most things are also "over-explained", giving the feel of a story that was originally meant for an anthology comic, ala Tales From The Crypt. Honestly I feel that the more restraining time-limit the movie would have been given in a anthology piece, perhaps Creepshow, would've worked more in the story's favour. As it stands, I feel the movie has way too many scenes with out characters just being in the wild west, completely leaving out Maria Frankenstein for almost the entire second act. Instead we have a few western-clichés, like doing a robbery or fighting native Americans. This doesn't help the movie at all, because as I said the only two really good performances in the movie are those of the two titular characters and having most of the movie leaving out one of them just leaves the audience losing their patience. When the two titular characters finally DO meet up, there is a love triangle in the story that, frankly, seems like it came out of nowhere. Giving Maria Frankenstein more of a reason to hate Jesse James does make for a nice motivation from a dramatic standpoint, I just wish the movie instead had spent the time trying to build up the atmosphere or, more importantly - Have more scenes with the monster.

Yes, poor design of monster aside I would very much have preferred to have more time with it than the time we got. It is obvious who the monster will be from the beginning of the film and having more time of Jesse James duking it out with Doctor Frankenstein and her monster would have made for some great action scenes. It would also have made for potential drama, considering the monster is made from Jesse James' former friend. I would have liked to have seen more of that, instead of a love triangle that never really starts before it ends. Once the monster does show up however, this is when the movie actually gets enjoyable and the sheer cheese factor of the monster creation scene sold the entire movie for me. This is what I came to see and I was not disappoint by how much scenery chewing the good Doctor gets to do in this scene. That and wearing a funny hat. A funny hat always helps.

Now normally, this is where the article would end. Leaving you to find this very obscure film to your own but it just so happens that Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter is an abandoned film and therefore in the public domain. Therefore I am glad to present to you with the film, right here in it's full length for your enjoyment. Alternatively you can download it from The Internet Archive right HERE and watch it at your own leisure. Was I right? Was I wrong? Feel free to watch it and leave me a comment to this article!

O.K. Connery (1967)

"Operation Kid Brother: is too much
for one mother!" sounds like a different
movie altogether

Film: O.K. Connery
Alternate Titles: Operation Kid Brother, Secret Agent 00, Operation Double 007
Release: 1967, Theatrical
Starring: Neil Connery, Anthony Dawson, Lois Maxwell, Adolfo Celi
Directed by: Alberto De Martino
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: The evil organization Thanatos is planning to take over the world with a new magnetic superweapon. In his master spy brother's absence, the surgeon/hypnotist Neil Connery is called in to assist MI6.

Hans' thoughts:

In the 1960's, one of the most booming sub-genres in the film industry was the spy movies - mostly due to the success of the James Bond movies. This movie is an odd little existence from that time. "Operation Kid Brother" is a James Bond rip-off with, just that, Sean Connery's actual brother Neil Connery playing a character of the same name. The movie is also littered with actors who's played characters in the actual James Bond movies. I don't know if this was a serious money grubbing effort, or the most elaborate prank in the history of the world. However, it exists, so let's dive right into it.

So a thing you will quickly notice about the movie is the sound department. The main theme of the movie is a riff on the iconic Bond music, sounding just different enough to pass off as something else. Though I suspect even the most unconcentrated viewer can hear the giant similarities right away. You'll also notice that movie is, unfortunately, poorly post-produced. The actors dubbing themselves apparently have a hard time hitting their own lip movements, and in the case of Neil Connery himself he wasn't even present for the re-dub due to an illness. Therefore, you unfortunately don't get that trademarked Connery type voice as you never hear his own voice in the movie. I don't know who post-dubbed Neil's lines, but the lack of even a fake scottish accent disappointed me. Another sign of a poor post-production is some VERY ugly sound cuts, not even bothering to at least fade or overlap the sound at some points. The movie has sudden jumps of complete silence between scenes and it is painfully obvious.

Plot Wise you get pretty much what you would expect from a James Bond type-movie. It is over-the-top with some weird gadgets and one of the main characters abilities is to hypnotize. It's an interesting spin on the super spy ideal, though I will point out that the character of Neil Connery is very much a Mary Sue (or, well, Marty Stu since the character is male), a character that is way too perfect to be true and feels like a confidence-boosting self-insert, created for wish fulfillment if you will. On that note, Neil Connery is not much of an actor, however not to a degree that it takes away from the experience and seeing the other Bond actors there makes up for in that they at least have talent enough to make it entertaining. 

If you wanted another Connery-era type Bond movie, this is the next best thing. Defying the lack of substance by, at least being a curious bit of history and by not relying too hard on the action like later Connery movies would end up doing. If you can track this down, I recommend giving it a watch if curious.

Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

Film: Kick-Ass 2
Release: 2013, Theatrical
Starring: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Chloë Grace Moretz, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Jim Carrey
Directed by: Jeff Wadlow
Previous in the series: Kick-Ass
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: 5 years after the fall of drug lord Frank D'Amigo, his son Chris is still seeking vengeance on the world's first costumed hero. Donning an all-new costume, he becomes The Motherfucker: The world's first super villain.

Hans' thoughts:

This movie is exactly what a sequel should be, instead of trying to do a formulaic repeat of success, it broadens out the universe and the story and takes the next logical step. From the first hero to the first villain, this move is the other side of the coin in a lot of ways.

Kick-Ass was a wild movie for sure, but it was also a little dramatic - trying to remind you at every turn that the story was still supposed to take place in the real world. To some extent anyways. Kick-Ass 2 on the other hand puts the pedal to the metal, this is very much a comic book movie and a good one at that. There's more action, more characters, bigger scenes, bigger events, bigger everything.

In this movie we not only get the first supervillains, but also the very first superhero team "Justice Forever". This team is lead by a completely unrecognizable Jim Carrey in the role of Colonel Stars and Stripes. But really, you could have told me it was someone else and I would've believed you - kudos to the makeup department on the facework and to Carrey himself for a excellent performance. He really managed to the take on the guise of someone else. Most of the members of Justice Forever - however likable, is kinda one-note archetypes. There's not much to them but they're likable enough to not become grating or feel flat.

This is more than can be said for The Motherfucker's team. While all his teammates certainly get backstories and each have at least a single moment of their own, only the character Mother Russia really stood out to me as a completely realized characters. Though the same thing happened to the heroes team, at least they managed to make me able to tell them apart based on more than the look. 

The breakout actor of this movie is definitely Mintz-Plasse as The Motherfucker, he really getting his acting chops fit into shapes and he had a lot of very cool moments - even in spite of the character itself being a whimp. He plays the wimp in such a way that you actually like him though, and I found myself kinda wanting him to succeed. This is mainly due to the two leads. While they certainly acted decently, Kick-Ass was just kind of around because his name was in the title, not having all that much to do in this movie before the final act. And while I love Moretz as Hit-Girl, she does not manage to pull off the struggling teenager persona all that well. This is in part because the actor who played Marcus, her caretaker, felt sort of bland to me.

Overall, Kick-Ass 2 did a lot more with the universe and has much better action than the original, I just doubt there is all that much more you can do with this property - though they seem to be setting up a sequel for it. I look forward to seeing just where they intend to go with it next and until then I will have had a very enjoyable experience.

Kick-Ass (2010)

Film: Kick-Ass
Release: 2010, Theatrical
Starring: Aaron-Taylor Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloë Grace Moretz, Nicolas Cage
Directed by: Matthew Vaughn
Next in the series: Kick-Ass 2
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: The nerdy high-schooler Dave Lizewski decides to live out his fantasy as the superhero persona Kick-Ass. Accidentally, he gets thrown into one man's violent war against a powerful drug lord.

Hans' thoughts:

In a world much like our own, Dave Lizewski decides to dress up like a hero. Not because of some revenge-scheme or other normal-type motivations - he just figures it's the right thing to do. 

Kick-Ass came out in 2010, critically acclaimed but bashed by parent interest groups. This is mostly due to a ton of curse words and the movie being littered about with over-the-top violence mostly committed by an 11-year old actress.

Personally? I thought it was a lot of fun! Being laddish at heart and a big comic book geek I could relate a lot to the different personalities in this movie. I think many comic book fans like myself has fantasized at one point or another about putting on a mask of our own, and fighting the people who make the streets unsafe at night. The movie is of course, also a very sobering experience as the very first time our hero actually goes to fight crime, he fails miserably to the point of being nearly fatally wounded. The movie also has a lot of funny moments, some of the best being characters snapping the movie back to reality and putting a mirror up to the audience "Everythings fine?! You're grabbing a fucking bazooka!". Though not the point of breaking the 4th wall, the movie is showing you that it is very much aware of just how insane the premise is.

On the acting side you have Nicolas Cage in perhaps my favorite role he's done yet. His socially awkward, southern Big Daddy has some of the funniest moments and perhaps the best shot action scene in the movie. While Johnson and Mintz-Plasse also both do a very good job of portraying dweeby teenage guys that are in way over their heads, the break-out star of the movie is young Chloë Grace Mintz starring in the role of the ass kicking Hit-Girl. She has the biggest number of action scenes and some of the most badass moments in the film.

The movie does have it's problems though, slight plot holes like how does a single security camera manage to capture an entire hollywood-style fight scene from a single position. Or how amateur superheroes can have such well-made costumes. But really, it's a comic book movie and I really had no problems with suspending my disbelief.

Overall, this is one of my favorite superhero movies, and action movies overall and I look forward to what's going to happen next in this universe.

American Splendor (2003)

Film: American Splendor
Release: 2003, theatrical
Starring:  Paul Giamatti, Shari Springer Berman, Harvey Pekar
Directed by: Shari Springer Berman, Robert Pulcini
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: Harvey is a world-weary, sarcastic man with a failing second marriage and a sore throat when everything comes crumbling down around him, wanting some sort of outlet for his day to day annoyances, he starts writing comic books.

Hans' thoughts:

American Splendor is fun movie. The main character, Harvey Pekar, oozes of sarcasm and world weariness in such a way that it actually adds to the movie's charm. We follow him from just before he starts making comics, till after his struggle with a serious illness. All the while the movie is occasionally interrupted and narrated by the actual Harvey Pekar. The first thing that pops out when you watch the movie is the style. The movie is made like a comic book, having tekst boxes and bubbles occur every now and then for comedic effect. The weird time skipping style of interrupting the movie with a short presentation by the actual person being presented also gives the movie a cozy feel, like you're actually hanging out with the people this movie is about, hearing their tale. It also cements how well represented the people in the movie actually are, giving others than Pekar himself a chance to say something directly to the audience. The movie is of course somewhat based on the comic book of the same name, American Splendor. It's an autobiographical comic book where the characters in the comic are people the writer actually met and interacted with on a daily basis. Making this movie also a fairly personal piece. 

What I like this movie most for, is the way it presents it's characters. It makes a point saying that just because you aren't a fictional character, it doesn't mean that you don't have something that makes you unique. Not in the sappy way, but more in the way that yes - good character writing actually comes from writers basing it on their own interactions with actual people. The movie is about how interesting normal life can actually be, and as the characters state countless times: In real life, everything doesn't end up hunky dory. There'll always be something worth complaining about, all you really have to do is learn how to deal with it. 

A bittersweet film yes, but a funny one as well. Taking a lot of things that people may take for granted and putting them in the spotlight. Granted, this form of comedy is not for everyone. The atmosphere may be too simple and quiet for people used to more over reactionary forms of storytelling. Thus, this movie doesn't have a major goal the characters have to achieve, some high tragedy they try to overcome or even really, all that much in the way of an ending. But that's what's so good about it, it's honesty. To a lot of people, life is nothing but a series of happy and sad events, that doesn't mean it's meaningless though. This is what this movie seems to convey, to me at least.

Interstella 5555: The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem (2003)

Film: Interstella 5555: The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem
Alternate title(s): Interstella 5555, Discovery, Interstella 4-5
Release: 2003, Video
Starring: Romanthony, Thomas Bangalter
Directed by: Kazuhisa Takenouchi
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: The vastly popular alien band of a far off world is kidnapped, brainwashed and used as star material on planet Earth by an evil producer.

Hans' thoughts:

The band Daft Punk is known by many. It's a french band that's made more than a few hits and are listened to even by people who wouldn't normally consider themselves fans of that particular genre. The genre being  "synthpop-inspired house", but that's according to Wikipedia. I don't know much about music honestly. In any case, the band is incredibly popular and in 2001 they released their perhaps most celebrated album: Discovery. It has mega hits such as "One More Time", "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" and "Aerodynamic" among others. The band was approached by japanese animation legend Leiji Matsumoto. A man with a very easily recognizable style who's created such hits as Galaxy Express 999 and Captain Harlock. If you're not into japanese animation just trust me on this: He's a pretty big deal. So when he showed up and asked to make animated music videos for Daft Punks' hit album, how could they turn him down? What followed was some of the most colorful music videos I've seen. 

In 2003 (we're getting close to the point now) they then decided to cut together the music videos into one big animation epos of a movie: Interstella 5555!  Now, making a movie based on an album is nothing new, a well-known other example is Pink Floyd's The Wall. But whereas The Wall is a rock album, containing actual coherent dialogue does a lot of the job for the viewers. The meat of The Wall is the analysation of the lyrics but Daft Punk is far from rock and what little lyrics the music actually contains is normally non-contextual and more put in for the sake of making it sound good. It's not actively shoving a message on you but instead goes for sheer enjoyment factor. So how do you make a movie out of that?

Surprisingly, the movie not only works well as a 60 minute music video but manages to tell an easy to follow story. Remember: The entire soundtrack with the exception of 2 or 3 sound effects is a clean rip from the actual album Discovery. The animation, as I mentioned, is beautiful. It has to be really, since it has to convey a complete story without any sort of dialogue. It's also a lot more active than japanese animation made for TV, as this movie is based a lot on rythm. While the movie may have a few plotholes, it still has a high quality and it could probably have been a beautifully done movie in it's own right. The Daft Punk music is as great as one would expect, as I stated, Discovery is perhaps the bands most celebrated album and for good reason: Even people who've never heard of the band or the genre it comes from will probably recognize songs such as Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. The lack of heavy dialogue and simple storyline also makes the movie pretty much applicable to anyone who likes good music.

This movie is a witness account of just how strong a message the correct mixture of denotation can give the viewer. Sound and animation flows together so strong and you'll have to guess whether Matsumoto saw the entire events of the movie unfold in his mind as he listened to the album. Viewing the movie now, it's hard to believe that the album wasn't made with this movie in mind. But it is, and that just speaks for the power of the visual forces at work.

If you're a fan of animation, a fan of music, or a fan of none of the above, you might find enjoyment in this movie. While not setting a milestone for anything, I cannot argue that it just uses what it has in such a good way. Like a man baking a cake and getting the ingredients perfect. Others has used the same ingredients for fantastic results before, but this particular cake is one you mustn't miss.

Drive (2011)

Film: Drive
Release: 2011, Theatrical
Starring:  Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston
Directed by: Nicolas Winding Refn
IMDB Page: Link opens in a new window
Description: A young man works as a stunt driver and a mechanic. On the side he makes extra money as a getaway driver for criminals.

Hans' thoughts:

This is one of those movies that I had to force myself to sit through, Not because it's bad but because this is a very slow movie. You get the atmosphere of driving home in the dark, the radio only playing low beat music and everyone in the car being way too tired to tired to strike a conversation. Or if you're on your way home alone from a night out with friends, sitting in a mostly empty bus. That kind of feeling. I really couldn't explain it better than that. 

Explanations are actually something this movie doesn't spend a lot of time on. If you don't pay attention, you might miss out on vital information. It takes the notion of show don't tell way too far in my opinion. It is indeed, not a movie for the masses. Relying heavily on it's soundtrack, on the lighting and the expressions on the characters. In that regard, this is actually a great movie. But alas, it is an art piece and not something I would recommend for the sake of mere entertainment. It would go well in a media classroom, or in front of someone who already has a vested interest in film.

There is something to be said for the plot though, it tries it best to go against conventions and be it's own thing. What at first seems like an artsy remake of Transporter turns out to have so much going for it. Again, if you're actually into movies as a vested interest instead of just idle entertainment. This I imagine, is a movie that's divided critics and the wide audience pretty clean cut. Of course, being more artsy than for general audiences isn't a failure. There a plenty of great movies that 'normal' people wouldn't give 5 minutes of their time. However, I feel that explaining away lack of entertainment value with "this is not for these certain types of people" would be me failing as a critic. Is it a good movie? Yes! It's great! Actually I would call it a modern masterpiece. But there is not much enjoyment to be found here, and that is a fault - intended audience be damned.

The Conspirator (2010)

Film: The Conspirator
Release: 2010, Theatrical
Starring: James McAvoy, Robin Wright, Kevin Kline
Directed by: Robert Redford
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: In 1865, The young attorney Frederick Aiken is given his first case - defending one of the accused conspirators of the murder of Abraham Lincoln, and a plot to kill his vice-president and the secretary of state.

Hans' thoughts:

These last few years, the Civil War and every subject surrounding it has been a popular thing to put on the silver screen. Among others were three separate Lincoln biography movies (two of which were purely fantasy), a cowboy revenge movie about slavery, and this. This movie quickly sets a somber tone, the first ten minutes are the conspirators to kill the president being rounded up, and an reenactment of the death of John Wilkes Booth in a burning barn (yes, that actually happened). Our main characters are the young attorney Frederick Aiken, just returned from fighting in the civil war as a captain on the side of the Union and Mary Surratt, the only female accused.

In a way, this movie reminded me of The Exorcism of Emily Rose. It had the same basic premise, a critical attorney is made to defend an accused that seems guilty by any stretch of their imagination but becomes more and more turned to believe the client is innocent while both parties learn something about themselves in the process. The movie even had Tom Wilkinson running around, making the connection even harder to abstain from. Actually, recalling every movie I've seen about attorneys, this was pretty formulaic.

The tone of the movie, as well as the injustices the characters face makes it hard not to make the connection between the events of the movie and the aftermath of 9/11, with a lot of civil liberties being set aside for the sake of revenge in war times and the atmosphere that was in the air in the time. Indeed, the kind of atmosphere that shows up after every massive tragic event. People make up their minds about the ones involved, demonizing everything without knowing the complete picture. A subject matter the Danish movie The Hunt also tackled recently albeit in a much darker and emotionally draining way. This is of course, free association. But the connection definitely feels accurate.

However, by the standards of these types of movies this was executed perfectly. It presented the historical events that was the movie's subject matter in a simple but compelling way, teaching about the reality of the case. If a bit preachy at certain points. The movie is just historically accurate enough to not suck out the entertainment value of the film. I'd wager a lot of people could get curious about the events after watching this movie - so in that regard, it does it's job. As I said though, the movie can get a bit preachy at points, making the other side of the case seem almost cartoonishly evil at points. This movie has a message to tell, and at times it can get a bit desperate to make sure we get the point.

Help! I'm a Fish (2000)

Film: Help! I'm a Fish
Alternate title: A Fish Tale
Release: 2000, theatrical
Starring: Alan Rickman, Terry Jones, Aaron Paul
Directed by: Stefan Fjeldmark Michael Hegner Greg Manwaring 

IMDB page: Link opens in a new window

Description: When three kids sneak out for a fishing trip, an accident involving a strange potion and a nutty professor turn them into aquatic animals. They have to get the antidote before 48 hours has passed or they'll be sea creatures forever!

Hans' thoughts:

This movie was a very big deal when it came out. It was a fully-fledged Disney-like Danish produced animation. While Denmark has certainly produced animated movies before, never to this extent. 

So you have this pretty cool setup, three kids encounter a friendly but bumbling professor and through unfortunate events they end up turned into aquatic animals and thrown into the sea. Well, I say aquatic animals but through the movie all three of them are referred to simply as "fish". This is strange, considering that only one of them are actually turned into an actual fish. The two others are turned into a starfish and a jellyfish. I know the word "fish" is in their names but that doesn't actually make them.. oh you don't care.

The strongest point of this movie is it's visuals. Well-deserving of the setting of the sea, this movie has some beautiful sceneries and visuals. At times, this movie get's considerably dark, the villains live in a sunken freight ship which lends itself really well to some absolutely grim imagery. The high-point of this being a scene in which Joe, played by Alan Rickman, has his villain song. It draws a lot of parallels to nazi germany, north korea and soviet russia. You see, the potion that would just have served as an antidote to the kids actually works to make normal sea creatures more intelligent. It's not very plausible but it makes for a nice plot device. 

The songs in the movie is well.. it was made in 2000, so you get a lot of 90's Europop in there. There are two songs sung by actual characters in the movies, but they could be so much better. I have to admit, I'm not really a fan of Alan Rickmans singing voice compared to the Danish version. Rickman has this very pronounced voice that's easy to recognize but it just doesn't lend itself to singing in deep monotone. If you want to hear Alan Rickman singing considerably well, go check out Sweeney Todd.

All in all, I consider this movie to be fiercely underrated, certainly better than some of the Disney movies that came out at the same time (Pocahontas spring to mind). However, that isn't really saying much. You can take this as proof that European animators know their trade just as well as Japanese or American.Kids will probably love it though.

Story-liners: Fallout 3 (2008)

War, war never changes.

Game: Fallout 3
Alternate version: Fallout 3 Game of the Year Edition
Release: 2008, retail
System: PC/Sony Playstation 3/Microsoft Xbox 360
Starring: Liam Neeson, Malcolm McDowell, Ron Perlman
Directed by: Ashley Cheng
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: In the year 2077, the American people sealed themselves in bunkers called Vaults to escape the impending nuclear holocaust. In 2277, you are a citizen of Vault 101. The Vault has never been reopened, and probably never would be, if your father hadn't suddenly done so. You find yourself chased out of Vault 101 and into The Capital Wasteland trying to chase down your dad and find out why.

Hans' thoughts:

Before I get to the actual review, I'd like to state that since this is a open-world RPG, the game is absolutely HUMONGOUS. Therefore, I will keep to the main story arc of the game, disregarding the side-quests and downloadable content. Sit back tight, this one's gonna be a long one:

The Fallout series has always been a very politically oriented franchise. Set in a world where the paranoia of the Cold War endured and the popular culture always held a similar vein to 50's culture. To me, this series serves as a slap back to reality for those who dare speak of the 50's as "the good old days". Funnily enough, the series does lend a certain love to the era, making a lot of the positive parts of the game be derived from the 50's. Here I'm especially talking about the in-game radio playing music from the 30's/40's/50's. Seemingly the only music that survived the nuclear holocaust were by singers like Billie Holiday - who would have thought it?

After a short intro sequence, and a narrator bringing you up to speed on the state of the universe, the game starts off at your birth. Here you'll go through character creation, followed by certain moments from your childhood all the way until you've turned around 19 your first steps, your 10th birthday, your school finals). Here, the first thing you'll notice is probably this: your father is voiced by Liam Neeson. Now, if you haven't had the urge to check the cast of the game's voice actors, you probably will now. Ron Perlman? Malcolm McDowell? The game actually has quite a few big name actors attached to it, but somehow Fallout 3's atmosphere manages to pull you so far into the story that you forget the world around you. This is what happened to me at least, in any other case I had noticed Neeson right away, just as well with Perlman. However, the few seconds of an absolutely stunning intro-sequence made me forget about everything. Suddenly, I was in The Capital Wasteland.

Throughout the game, the player
 character is consistently referred to as
"The Lone Wanderer" and "That Kid from the Vault".

As for the other voice actors attached, they generally do a good job. However, it brought me out of the experience more than a few times on the sheer scope of how recycled certain voice actors were. You have 3 or 4 voice actors doing the voices for almost all the characters - important ones included. The only exceptions to this rule are your father (Liam Neeson), the narrator (Ron Perlman), President Eden (Malcolm McDowell), Three-Dog (Erik Pullum), Elder Lyons (William Bassett), the player character at age 1 (Jake Howard) and Amata (Odette Annable). The rest of the 50+ voiced characters in the game are done by Jeff Baker, Karen Carbone, Johnny Contino, Gregory Gorton, Peter Gil and Duncan Hood. Those are a LOT of characters for such a small crew of voice actors. Unfortunately, this also means that a lot of the work done by the 6 crowd voices are at times phoned in performances. While certainly not to the depths of some dubs I've heard, at times it is certainly a bit emotionless. This isn't helped by the fact that non-playable characters keep direct eye-contact with you during the entire conversation you have with each of them. You will notice the entire problem a lot more, when sound-files bundle up and a character speaks through 2 or 3 different voice actors because of the conversation choices you have made. A frail old man will suddenly speak with the voice of a 30-something and such.

On the right, a typical raider from Fallout. On the left, Wez from
Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior

Stylistically this game is beautiful, in spite of the destruction of the world around you. The 200 years following the nuclear holocaust has led to mutated animals, a heavy decline in the state of buildings - those that are left, anyway - and of course the unity of what's left of humanity leaves much to be desired. Speaking of humanity, while a lot of the positive input you get from the game (such as the aforementioned radio) take a lot of notes from the 50's, a lot of the antagonists you face are grounded firmly in the 60's and 70's. An immediate threat (besides the monsters) you'll face is that of the raiders, gangs running through the wastes in packs. They are all heavily inspired by 60's, 70's and 80's counter-culture, especially that of punk. They drink a lot, they yell a lot, they curse a lot, they take a lot of drugs and a big bulk of them have Mohawks (which, if you think about it doesn't make much sense in a world where resources are very limited). Though many of them are cannibals and takes slaves, if that somehow makes it make more sense. They also wear these sorts of strapped together metal armors, I imagine their initial designs were inspired by that of the Mad Max movies.

As for the actual looming villain in the distance, this is a case of a great setup, but not that much of a pay-off. Throughout the game you see these small robots flying around, transmitting a radio signal you can play from your "Pip-boy", a sort of all-in-one computer that's strapped to your wrist (the thing also serves as the game's menu system). The radio signal is transmitted by someone calling themselves "President Eden". Eden sounds like a kindly old man, living up to the all-American patriot stereotype. He speaks of a dog he had as a child, what it means to be an American and quotes famous Americans, seemingly oblivious of the extremely "survival-of-the-fittest" world around him. The music he plays on his radio station is also music you would describe as fiercely patriotic. These are songs such as "Stars and Stripes", "Yankee doodle" and "Dixie". 

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about something we can all relate to, something that is unquestionably, inescapably… American. I am referring, of course, to our great national pastime - baseball. - John Henry Eden 

As for the pay-off, while it is certainly surprising to find out who President Eden is, the final battle against the antagonists of the game could have been so much more than what it eventually amounts to. I'm not going to spoil what it is here - suffice to say that the build up is so much better than the actual pay-off.

That is actually a very accurate description of the entirety of the main story-line of the game as well. While the game itself has some great themes, pieces of dialogue and atmosphere, the main story-line ultimately falls flat. Many of the non-canon side-quests amount to much better told stories and in some cases more well-rounded characters. Especially the optional add-on content puts a lot more emphasis on character development and detail. The father (the only other character featured in the game from the beginning to the end) ends up being a very one-note character, ultimately becoming the "father was a saint" stereotype. Throughout the game, he constantly makes a point of quoting the deceased mother's favorite religious quote:

I am Alpha and Omega. The beginning... and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life, freely. - Revelation 21:6

To the quotes credit it does end up being a great narrative tool on the hows and whys of his actions. However, the father ends up being very bland, which is sad when considering the talent doing the voice. This is a classic example of the journey being better than the destination.

Wrapping things up, while Fallout 3 is a great game game play-wise, the story ultimately feels a bit flat and rushed compared to the rest of the content in the game. I wanna re-emphasize that I only looked at the main plot in the original version of the game. This game holds a lot of great content, loads of hours of worthy gameplay as well as an entirely new ending provided by the add-on content. If you are to play this game, I suggest you play that version instead.

(All quotes and additional information was and can be found on The Vault, the Fallout themed Wikipedia)

The Room (2003)

Film: The Room
Release: 2003, theatrical
Starring: Tommy Wiseau, Juliette Danielle, Greg Sistero
Directed by: Tommy Wiseau
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window

Description: Everything seems to be going well for Johnny, but without him knowing his fiancé is growing bored and planning misdeeds

Hans' thoughts:

If you did not have a drinking problem before watching this movie, chances are you have trouble not getting one by sitting through it. Albeit sitting through it alone is a great challenge. Consider romantic pulp fiction for women, the kind of dime novels that can be found on train stations for a trip. The stories are nonsensical the characters are utter two-dimensional. Those books are more well-written than whatever this movie is supposed to be. The movie is the love-child of one man, Tommy Wiseau. He plays the main character, He directed the movie, he wrote the script, he funded the movie, he published the movie, he produced the movie AND he executive produced the movie. The movie is notorious for frequent crew changes and the utter strangeness of it's existence. Wiseau himself also has an unplaceable accent and the most eccentric delivery of his lines I have ever seen on screen. After sitting through the first 10 minutes, you have either turned the movie off or decided that it just too fascinatingly bad to look away from. Wiseau has since the bad reviews of this movie come forward to state that this is actually a black comedy. So either this movie is the worst and most bizarre triangle drama ever or the most elaborate practical joke made for the silver screen. Plot threads appear and disappear, as do characters. Actions are taken out of nowhere and none of the characters seem to have any personality. The "villain" of this movie, the lead female act, is most likely one of the most successful villains ever, and by the end you will hate her. If you manage to get into the plot of the movie at all. At least the main score is somewhat good, as opposed to the inserted popsongs during the lovemaking scenes. Which by the way, are not only horribly choreographed but also downright strange and way too long. If you need to take a break during the movie, feel free to do it during these scenes. You will have ample time to get snacks as these things are unfortunately very frequent. If you are going to sit through this mess, I recommend doing it at a public screening. Bring plastic spoons, the rest will be explained when you get there. Oh and bring cab fare, you will most likely want to go drinking afterwards.

The Cinema Snob Movie (2012)

Film: The Cinema Snob movie
Release: 2012, Video
Starring: Brad Jones, Jake Norvell, Noah Antwhiler
Directed by: Ryan Mitchell
IMDB page: Link opens in a new window
Description: The exploitation filmmaker Graig and his friend Neil can't get filming permits from the snooty members of the local filmboard. So Graig dresses up as the snobbiest critic ever to infiltrate their weekly meetings and cheat them out of the permits.

Hans' thoughts:

The Cinema Snob is one of the most popular and most productive critics affiliated with the company Channel Awesome. This movie (written by actor and creator Brad Jones) serves to give the character an origin story of sorts, cementing the differences between himself and the character. This movie is pretty good, but let's first get my gripes out of the way. First off, as with the other movie starring Brad Jones I've reviewed on this site (Paranoia) the sound quality is not the best. The lighting however, has been vastly improved. Even though some of the night shots are still VERY dark. Gripes put aside, this movie presents both very dry and very gory comedy, it is also littered with references to exploitation and b-list films and creators. The main character himself assumes the name of Vincent Dawn, a known pseudonym by the filmmaker Bruno Mattei who stood behind such infamous movies as SS girls and Caligula. I imagine it can be fun to see how many references a fan of exploitation can pick up on. That being said, I'm not that well-versed in that particular part of cinema so I was glad to see that there was something for us lesser beings as well. The best comedy in this movie certainly comes from the dialogue. If you like the Cinema Snob, there is well enough reason to watch this. If you're not, give it a try anyway. You may find something you like.